A Note of Appreciation From the Rich

Letís be honest: youíll never win the lottery. On the other hand, the chances are pretty high that youíll slave away at some shitty job the rest of your life. Thatís because you were in all likelihood born into the wrong social class. Letís face it - youíre a member of the WORKING CASTE. As a result, you donít have the education, upbringing, connections, manners, appearance, or good taste to become one of us. In fact, youíd probably need a book the size of the Yellow Pages to list all of the unfair advantages we have over you. Thatís why weíre so relieved that you continue to believe in the silly fairy tale about "justice" and "equal opportunity" in America.

Of course, in a hierarchical system like ours, thereís not much room at the top to begin with. And anyway, itís already occupied by us (in fact, we like it up here so much that we intend to keep it that way). But at least thereís usually someone lower in the social hierarchy you can feel superior to and kick in the teeth once in a while. Even a lowly dishwasher can find some poor slob even lower than he to sneer and spit at. So be thankful for poor Blacks, migrant workers, prostitutes, and homeless street people.

Always remember that if everyone like you were economically secure and socially privileged like us, there would be no one left to fill all those boring, dangerous shit jobs in our economy. And no one to fight our wars or blindly follow orders in our corporate armies. And certainly no one to meekly go to their grave without having lived a full and creative life. So please, keep up the good work!

Plus you probably donít have the same vicious, greedy, compulsive desire to acquire and possess wealth, power and prestige that we have. And even though you sincerely desire freedom, you also fear freedom, keeping you and others like you in a nervous state of limbo. So you mechanically go through life playing your assigned social role, terrified of what others would think should you ever dare to "break out of the mold."

Naturally, we play you off against each other whenever it suits our purposes: skilled workers against unskilled, unionized against non-unionized, Black against white, American workers against Japanese against Mexican against... We continually bid your wages down by invoking "foreign competition", "the law of supply and demand," or "national security." We throw you on the unemployment scrap heap if you step out of line or jeopardize our profits. We even let you vote for one of our political surrogates every now and then. Happily, you havenít a clue as to whatís really happening - instead, you blame "Niggers", Jews, welfare mothers, queers (everybody except us) for your trouble situation.

Not only that, you still embrace the work ethic, even though most jobs in our economy undermine your health, poison the environment, and suck your one and only life out of you. We donít know much about work, but weíre sure glad you do!

Of course, life could be different. Society could be reorganized to meet the real needs of the general population. You could control your own activity and not be someone elseís pawn. But you donít know that. You canít even imagine it. In fact, thatís probably the greatest accomplishment of our system: robbing you of your imagination, your creativity, your ability to think for yourself.

So weíd truly like to thank you from the bottom of our heartless hearts. Itís the obedient wage slaves like you that help make our lives so pleasant. Your loyal sacrifice makes possible our corrupt luxury; your work makes our system work.

So once again, thanks for "knowing your place" - without even knowing it.

The Rich Scum of America
Remember the golden rule. He who hath the gold maketh the rules.
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